This is just the early beginning of my journey and conversion.

My Journey
       By
Rose Nadeau

You must be wondering why I am taking the time to stop and tell you about my story.
Why would anyone want to take the time out of his or her life to share their personal journey with others? Why  should I bother  telling you about  my sad stories about my aces, and pain about my sorrows and heart aces about the valley’s I’ve been in, about all he mistakes and wrong turns I’ve made along the road of life?

The reason I want to tell you my story is because I know that you to have a story, perhaps not exactly the same as mine but you to have experienced the emptiness, the sorrow, the pain the loneliness the worry the fear the doubt, and the longing to find truth and  happiness. The longing to find peace hope and joy...

My journey has led me through many deep valley’s and many dark allies but through it all, I found the God that my heart was really longing for.  I was not raised with any religion in my childhood years as I was growing up. My mom and dad had me baptized in the  Catholic Church when I was a baby but after that they did not take me to church as I was growing up. After I was bathed in the baptismal font,  I have never seen the inside of a Catholic church again. 

My Mother and father never attended church when I was a child. Today I realize that even though Mom and dad never attended church at least they had enough morals to have their children baptized because this one simple  act of having me baptized opened the doors for me to become a  child of God. Through our baptism, we become a part of the family of God and when God is our Father, he  will never let anyone come and snatch us away. In Isaiah 49:15,  it quotes “ Can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore?  Even if a Mother  should forget her child, I will never forget you  Jerusalem, I can never forget you; I have written your name on the palms of my hands.’’ 

I may not have seen the inside of a Church again, but God did not take his eyes off of me nor his hands off of me nor did he close his ears to the cry of my voice when I cried out for help  in the valley’s of my life. NO he did not forget me nor does he forget any one else. That included every one of you who are reading  my story today.

I could have held resentment towards my parents  for not bringing me up in the faith, but today I can thank them with all of my heart for having me baptized me, which is the first and most important step in a Childs’  life. Baptism is the greatest  gift in life a Parent could give a child. 

My baptism was a covenant between me and God that  I am His, and He is mine. I became a member of the largest family throughout the world and one that  promises  me  everlasting life through Jesus Christ my Lord.  The most well known verse in the bible quotes, “God loved the world so much he gave us his only-begotten son that who so ever believes in him will have everlasting life.’’ John 3-16.  This little baby whom my Parent Baptized  now  belongs in a family that will be with me for all of eternity. 

My next experience with God in my life was when I was about ten years-old God decided he was going to use a friend of mine to invite me to come to a bible camp for the summer. I accepted my friend's invitation and went. I had a great time learning bible stories, canoeing  going on hikes, roasting marshmallow over  a camp fire and especially meeting new friends. 

Then on the last night of camp the councillor took me aside and asked me if  I had ever given my heart to Jesus . I said no of course, and she asked me if I wanted to. I said yes. So she said a prayer and asked me to repeat after her. It went a little like this.

“Dear Jesus I ask you to forgive me for all the sins I have ever committed during my life, and I am sorry for them, please come in my heart and save me. ’’unquote.  It was very easy and simple. Don’t forget I was only ten years old  so the prayer had to be shortand sweet. What was important was that I just didn’t say it because the counselor wanted me  to I said it because I had a desire in   my own little heart. I really wanted Jesus to come into my heart  to forgive me and save me.

I went to bed that night as the counselor tucked me into my nice warm sleeping bag and I  fell asleep in the arms of Jesus. The next day I felt the same nothing different had happened I packed up my cloths and hopped the bus to go home. Life went on as normal after that. 

My next encounter with God was in the Catholic Church when my sister got married. I was about twelve years old. She couldn’t get married until she had made her first communion and confirmation.
When my parents found this information out they figured well if my oldest daughter is going to do her first communion and  confirmation we should get Rose to do hers too  and prepare her for her wedding day sometime in the far off future they were hoping. So I made my first communion and confirmation at the same time as my sister did.

My parents never sent me to a Catholic school so I did not know much about my faith which I was baptized at  the time I knew very little. After my confirmation and first communion I continued to attend a public School until I graduated and went to a Public  High School at the age of 15. I Then started dating boys.  

That was when I took my first plunge in the valley of my life. Making wrong decisions in life happens so fast it is so easy but how blinded a person can be, not to see how deep and wide, how dark and long, the valley we are jumping in really can be. 

That was when I took my first plunge into the valley of my life. Making wrong decisions in life happens so fast it is so easy but how blinded we can be to not to see how deep and wide how dark and long the  valley we are jumping into to is going to be. 

Let's not forget how long it may take us to climb out.  Making the accurate choices are decisions every day in our life we must make, and it is so important to make the correct ones.
It is a matter of  life and death and whatever decision we make will depend whether we end up with blessings on the mountain tops or curses in a the valley.

The  Bible says that we are offered life or death a blessing or a curse. Deuteronomy 11:26 'Today, look, I am offering you a blessing and a curse: a Blessing, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God that I am giving you today but a curse if you disobey these commends and turn away. 

When we live our lives in righteousness and turn away from sin God will bless us. When we make a poor choice then sin will always lead us in a valley of darkness. The choice is ours, and we had better ask for some wise and good  advice from some holy religious people and make the right choice because we are going to suffer the consequences of our poor choice's big time. 

I made many wrong choices in life. Like most rebellious teenagers that refuse to  listen to some good religious advice from their parents or elders. To most teenagers today religion is old fashioned.
I, like many of you didn’t take any good  advice if it feels good, if it looks good, it was good, and I wanted to do it. Little did I know back then that one bad choice after the next after the next after the next deeper until suddenly I look up and see how far I have traveled down the valley of life. l began to look up and see no hope of ever getting out of the mess I put myself in.   

Well, I met a good-looking boy, and before you know it I got caught up with a sexual relationship with him. I started taking the birth control pill, and I was safe for a few years. However, I forgot to take my pill for few days, and  I ended up getting  pregnant. Guess what again, you play with fire you get burnt. When we play with sin. We get burnt. We end up in valley’s, we end up in gutters and tunnels with no light at the end of it,  in hospitals,  jails, homeless and on the streets. Sin will always lead to doom and gloom and eventually death and darkness.

Psalms 23:1 Yahweh is my shepherd. I lack nothing. says the Lord,  Though I walk through the valley’s of darkness, I  will fear no evil for he is with us, Yes, Jesus Is with us but why go there if we don’t have too. Why drink poison that will kill us when we can drink from the well of salvation and drink the water that leads to righteousness and  waters, which will spring up inside of us, so we will never thirst again. Water that will make us holy and become saints. When we choose to follow Christ and make the right choices; say no to sin and yes to God then  only blessings and graces will follow us all the days of our life.   Let's face it. I made many bad choices when I was sweet, sixteen  and so do many of you today, but we don’t have to go with the flow and do what so many others are doing. We can choose to live by the commandments of God.

  It was my first year of high school my sixteenth birthday was rolling around the corner. I was at the prime of my life. I was the ripe age for God to pour out his blessings on my life. If I had only listened  to him. I could have said no to sex and sin. No to alcohol and drugs, I could have said "yes" to stay in School and getting a  good education. "Yes" to live a life of prayer to going to church and putting my trust in God to answer and fill the desires of my heart. I could have said yes to stay in School and getting a decent education and a good-paying job for the future so that I would not end up on skid row or living a life of poverty in and out of homeless shelters and soup kitchens and food banks begging my entire life.

I could be  suffering in ways I did not have to suffer. Instead,  we end up saying yes to God, we say yes to drugs and booze to run away from the pain, and we are in a vicious circle all because we chose the road of sin, which leads the valley’s of our life. Which leads to no meaning no purpose for living then we decide we want out and suicide is our easy way out. Sin will always lead us in a valley of darkness and oh how dark it was for me. I never  thought I would ever see from a mountain top again.

I was now  sixteen and pregnant. This little sixteen-year-old girl ended up getting a little tool close to the boys for my own good. I was just in my prime of life. the hopes and dreams of my  whole future about  to    shattered  before my eyes. I was in my first year of high School. Being a  sixteen-year-old mother  was not a  part of my dreams or plans. After all, I was just a child myself and could not picture me taking care of a baby. 

Suddenly, I was over shadowed by fear. How am I going to take care of a baby? I was a mere baby myself. I am not ready to get married, to take care of a husband. I didn’t even know how to clean house wash clothes change diapers, and all those domestic things that mom did at home.  My dad did all the cooking at home I did not even know how to cook Kraft dinner. And mom never taught me.  What will my mom think of me? What about school, my education? What will dad say he will  throw me out and disown me?  What am I going to do?

I was in my first year of high school I knew I would have to be quiet. Did this mean I was going to be a high-school dropout a nobody a nothing in life? These questions haunted me. I told my best friend about it and how I was  feeling she had an older brother who got lots of girls pregnant, and he knew exactly how I could solve all my problems. He told me at first to take a  hot mustard bath, that didn’t work. Then he went to the drug store and bought me some complimentary pills I did  not even have to pay for them.  These will do the trick, he said. They are  sure to kill any baby inside of you. I tried then but thanks be to God. He had another plan for my life, and I got very sick and  threw up the pills my stomached could  not take it, so I gave up and decided to face the music.

To make a long story short I did end up getting married to the father of my child. My dad had no choice to let me get married to him or raise me and my child themselves. So I got married on March the 4th. 1967. I gave birth to a 5lb.  Baby girl on June 17th. 1967. I was sure glad that my attempt at abortion failed because today my daughter who I tried to get rid of gave me two beautiful grandchildren who have been my pride and joy in my life. Alicia  is now sixteen and Peter is twelve. In a few years if God willing I will soon be a great Grandma.

I still wasn’t practicing my faith at the time I got married. I had no Christian life or beliefs.  My husband was a alter boy when he was young but let his Christian  life also go to the side in his early teens.
Years ago, families  prayed the Rosary together with their kids before they went to bed. Parents took their children  to church, and they would walk  miles if they had to, to get there. No matter how hot or cold the weather was. There were many more families going to church back in those days. Not in my days nor in the present time we are living in. The People today who are trying to live out than  the kind if a Christian life today are the minority, because I did not have a family who prayed together and did not live out this Christian life we did not stay together.       

We had no Christian life no prayer life no church life no nothing. We had to struggle without God in our lives. In 1971, I gave birth to a second child another beautiful girl, and she too gave me two grandchildren too. My  marriage lasted nine years then it  hit rock bottom. My husband began to drink accessibly and with  no faith no family prayer no church community  in 1976. My marriage ended  in divorce,

Another mountain in my life I had to climb. Now what, How am I going to raise two children as a single parent? All I had to offer them was shattered dreams and a  broken heart. I had no job experience, no education to go out and get a job. Will I have to go on Welfare and live a life of poverty was this  all I could give my kids? However, God was with me. I forgot I gave my heart to Jesus, but he never  forgot me. He knew I was in trouble, and God came to my assistance. God was with me when I couldn’t see his foot print any more he was carrying me.  He led me to a hairdressing school. I took my course for one year.

I became the best hairdresser ever and opened my own business. I may  have had no education, but my talent was in my hands and my heart not my head. I raised my kids with the salary of a hairdresser who helped me to provide a pretty good life for my two girls. Up to this point I still wasn’t living a Christian  life. I was still searching for God and love in all the wrong places and even harder now because I was getting  lonelier and lonelier,  and I now had a broken heart that needed mending.
 

It was  then that I turned to God to heal my brokenness, my shattered dreams of living happily ever after with my knight in shining armor. I cried out to God  in this lonely spot in life in this valley of brokenness in this hopelessness and darkness, and  God heard my cry and  reached out to me one more time. A friend invited me to go on a weekend. It was called New Beginnings. It was for people who were  separated or  divorced and also for widows.  On this weekend, I finally got it. I finally found out.

True happiness is all about Jesus , giving our life to him, Living as he wants us to live and that is forgiving one another and loving one another . We make mistakes we let go ask God to forgive us, we forgive those who hurt us  and move on and start again.  

To read more about my conversion story, go to my Bio page. There, you will be able to read about my encounter on my Cursillo weekend.

You will also know more about me, my music ministry, and  how all of that began. Go to my music page to read this information. I have had many encounters, many experiences, and all of it is good because God is so, so good to us. He always wants to give us more.